Many first-time parents are shocked to learn that their medical provider will give little to no support in the postpartum. After nine months of visits, many aren’t typically seen until 6 weeks after their baby’s birth. 

Even then, the appointment often consists of a 10-question survey intended to spot postpartum depression, perhaps a quick exam, often none at all, an offer for birth control and the OK to have sex. 

There shouldn’t be this fall-off in care.

After growing and birthing a baby, you need much more than a distant doctor’s visit, a couple of meals and a few well-intentioned visitors. 

You need rest, nourishment and relief of the mundane duties of daily life. 

Your birth story needs to be told and heard. 

You deserve as much care as your baby. 

You were also never meant to do this alone. 

For thousands of years, humans lived amongst one another in multigenerational and communal living spaces. 

We witnessed birth, breastfeeding, how to care for our babies. When we gave birth, we were tended to. Our homes were cared for, we were fed, our older children helped. And then we, in turn, did this for the other women of our family or community. 

Yes, we carry innate knowledge for caring for our babies, but just as children learn through seeing and doing, so do we. Witnessing and mimicking things we learned in pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, newborn care, postpartum changes helped shape our “innate” knowledge. 

In today’s world, we need to recreate the village. Find trusted resources, talk with friends and family about ways you can support each other during these years, learn about the postpartum and how to best heal. Hiring support during your postpartum, gives you a resource you can consult without judgement or strings attached, without complicated relationships or intrusive advice. 

Someone to text and ask is this normal? Should I pump? Is yellow poop ok!? Is that normal? When does the umbilical cord fall off? How can I help them fall asleep? My bleeding returned, should I call my provider? 

Someone to call when you need to talk something out, make a plan, take a break. 

Someone who has been there with her own babies and has had the immense privilege to spend hundreds of hours with babies and families, learning more from them than she could ever give back in return. 

Someone who believes in weaving passed-down pieces of wisdom in with modern adaptations and making them available to families as a resource and a toolkit — but not as a rule or a schedule or a blueprint. 

And, most importantly, someone who knows that each baby is unique in their own way—and that no one knows your baby or can care for your baby as well as you.